Vagueness
I react too strongly to things. Well, not necessarily too strongly...but more strongly than a lot of people would. I don't know why this is...I wish I didn't do it. I guess I've known this for a long time...I've been called many things in relation to it. Intense, high maintenance, sharp, angry...I'm not angry. I'm just emotional and when I maybe should be able to just let things go, I can't. I'm trying...but it's not easy when people seem to expect that I should just be able to change my whole personality, and choose whether or not something's going to upset me.
Sometimes I feel like I've never grown up from being a reclusive little teenage girl. I feel this the most around times like xmas, when I'm supposed to be a part of things. But sometimes I don't want to be a part of anything. I'm sick of being lonely a lot of the time...yet not actually wanting to be around people.
I'm starting to think I expect too much from people. Maybe that's why I'm always disappointed when they don't make me feel the way I want them to. How am I supposed to tell if it's them or me that's the problem? Should I resign myself to the way things are when I want better? I'm not a bad person. I'm maybe just not an easy person to deal with. But it's not like I expect to just sit back and let people make me happy...I'll give back any effort someone puts into me, times a thousand. I'm just sick of being the one who makes ALL the effort, the one taken for granted, the needy one.
I need to start relying on myself...and whatever else happens...happens.
It's fate, yo.
Sometimes I feel like I've never grown up from being a reclusive little teenage girl. I feel this the most around times like xmas, when I'm supposed to be a part of things. But sometimes I don't want to be a part of anything. I'm sick of being lonely a lot of the time...yet not actually wanting to be around people.
I'm starting to think I expect too much from people. Maybe that's why I'm always disappointed when they don't make me feel the way I want them to. How am I supposed to tell if it's them or me that's the problem? Should I resign myself to the way things are when I want better? I'm not a bad person. I'm maybe just not an easy person to deal with. But it's not like I expect to just sit back and let people make me happy...I'll give back any effort someone puts into me, times a thousand. I'm just sick of being the one who makes ALL the effort, the one taken for granted, the needy one.
I need to start relying on myself...and whatever else happens...happens.
It's fate, yo.
